The Power of Discernment as a Woman

Ever had a moment when you get into a situation and then your body started reacting— even before your conscious mind could comprehend or translate it into thought? A subtle jolt, a shift in your gut, a quiet 'no,' or being a bit torn in a way you don't just don't understand yet— so you paused, disengaged, or walked away.... and only later did you realize you were actually right all along?

It's the nervous system reacting, even before you have the words to translate it.

There's a term for this inner radar called neuroception— coined by Dr. Stephen Porges, it's the body's ability to detect safety or danger without our conscious awareness.

Before we even have a single thought, our nervous system is already scanning the environment— faces, tones, body language, even energies— for cues or signs. It's biology. It's the reason why your heart races or your chest tightens even when everything around you looks "fine". The body just knows.

So last year, 2024, I went to Brisbane and lived there for two months. I visited my cousins and finally met baby niece— she was 6 months old. It was my first time meeting her. I would look after her and spend a lot of time with her. Even just within a couple of weeks being with her, I was already capable of singing her to to sleep on my own chest in peace, without her mom around. And I was very surprised— so were her mom and dad— that in times when she was crying so badly, I would just carry her, soothe her, and she would fall asleep. But on the other hand, some people who had been with her more often than I had, every time they picked her up— she would cry so badly non-stop. And I was curious as to why. The only thing I was aware of was that, in those moments with her, I was very attuned to my energy. I was being open and holding space for her. I wanted to make her feel safe by being present and calm for her, not internally stiff. So I asked and thought. Apparently, babies are capable of sensing and scanning their environments, picking up subtle signals— facial expressions, tone of voice, muscle tensions, breathing rhythm, emotional presence, and energy/attunement.

And this process obviously happens with us adults. When our senses start to scan— before logic even enters the room— our nervous system is already doing the work. Some common examples are:

1. Meeting someone for the first and you already feel off

2. Going into a place and, upon arrival, you already feel uncomfortable or safe

3. Feeling drained around someone or people, even if they haven't said anything offensive

For us women especially, neuroception tends to be more heightened or finely tuned than men due to our hormonal influences such as estrogen and oxytocin being active, or social conditioning— culturally women are often more encouraged to be more emotionally aware and nurturing from a young age, which can refine our neuroception responses over time.

Then there comes the intuition that speaks next. It's when the subconscious mind and emotional memory start to shape that the raw signal (from neuroception) might mean.

Intuition is the moment of knowing without logical analysis. It's the inner knowing or gut feeling that comes spontaneously. It pulls from the subconscious patterns you have absorved over time, emotional memory, and neuroception (as explained). It is fast and unconscious processing. It's the inner voice telling you something or warning you. You just can't explain logically why, but you just know, also more like a "gut" reaction.

The integration between neuroception and intuition → discernment

1. Neuroception is the process of the body (nervous system) automatically sensing safety or danger. This is biological and the scientific foundation for validating the inner cues.

2. Intuition is being aware of that signal as knowing, a gut feeling, or a subtle message. Relatable and human especially to women who would say "I just knew" "when you know, you know"

3. Discernment finally happens when you trust and act on what the neuroception and intuition are telling you.

Why do I think these are very important especially in a female context:

• Women have historically been manipulated, abused, gaslit, silenced, or labeled "overreactive" or "overthinking" for sensing things others DON'T.

• Neuroception validates we're biologically wired to detect threats and safety early.

• Intuition honos that women's inner knowing is real, wise, and often accurate— even without proof yet.

• And finally, discernment empowers the choice to act on what we feel and know— without apology.

Now why hold onto the power of the discernment as woman and why does it matter anyway?

1. Discernment is energetic protection. It's how a woman guards and protects her energy, body, and spirit in a world that constantly pulls at her attention and emotions. I strongly believe that not everything deserves access. Discernment draws the boundary between what is nourishing and what is draining, what adds value and what doesn't— without any guilt. It's very important especially nowadays because everyone is capable of wasting your time, energy and resources for nothing. Having a strong discernment, you would already be able to filter what you would think is best for you.

2. Discernment filters noise from truth. The world is very loud: societal expectations, conflicting opinions, social media etc.,— with discernment you can cut through the noise. It helps a woman recognize her own truth from conditioned beliefs and such, so she can respond from her essence— not from pressure or people-pleasing or just to fit in.

3. Discernment prevents self-betrayal. Women are often conditioned to override their discomfort, minimize their feelings, or overlook red flags. Discernment brings her back to herself— its the voice within that says: "No, this is not for me, this doesn't work for me, or I don't deserve this— without over justfiying why"

4. Discernment keeps her from mistaking familiarity for safety. You know, just because it feels familiar doesn't mean they're safe. Truthfully, some old patterns, attachment wounds, and trauma are often disguised themselves as comfort. Discernment gives her clarify to break those cycles.

5. Discernment filters and refines who and what she allows in her sacred space. Whether lovers, friendships, opportunities, or conversations— discernment sharpens her standards. It's a constant reminder that: "If this will cost me my peace, then it's very very expensive and I cannot afford it. I'm out"

6. Discernment is a core of feminine wisdom. It isn't a logic alone. It's a blend of emotional intelligence, embodied knowing, intuition and lived experience. When a woman is attuned to it, she doesn't need to over explain — her silence, her absence... becomes her boundary.

7. Discernment is sovereignty. A discerning woman doesn't need validation to choose what's best for her. Her knowing is enough. Her "no" is final because her decisions are rooten in self-trust, not external opinions. That's real power.

So I ask you, in this world that often demands us to choose, to explain, to bend—

How do you hold onto your discernment? And how do you practice it......

to make decisions that align and truly add value to your life?

Vanesa