Singlehood through Individuation

Enjoying singlehood as a woman has been underrated.

Not just underrated, but often as loneliness, lovelessness, isolation— or blamed on having "too much standards." I pause and think; maybe those who see it this way have never experienced the liberty that comes from true individuation. Those chances to enjoy your own company, or to grow on your own? It's beyond empowering.

Individuation, according to Carl Jung— a Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and psychologist— is the deep psychological and spiritual process of becoming true, whole, and unique self. It's not mere about 'finding yourself' in a casual sense— but about integrating the unconscious aspects of your psyche with your conscious self.

It allows you to become an authentic, fully developing individual, rather than someone merely operating through societal roles, masks, or inherited patterns.

As a woman who is embracing this process, you stop living according to what’s expected—and start living from what’s true for you. You no longer place value on what other people think or say about you. You become unapologetic, confident, and self-trusting. You develop a strong intuition rather than relying on others to tell you what’s right for you.

You no longer reject your feminine essence or over-identify with masculine traits just to survive. You integrate both your feminine and masculine—creating a balance, not an inner war. You face your shadow and do the inner work—so you no longer project unresolved wounds onto others. You attract deeper, more conscious relationships, and you set and honor strong boundaries without guilt. You learn to take good care of yourself in all aspects.

You no longer settle, shrink, or betray yourself just to be chosen or to be seen.

Because you are whole and complete on your own.

And when you are whole and complete on your own, you never chase and you never settle for anything less.

You just stay open on that level—until you attract someone who can meet you there.

This season of singlehood as a woman is all about growing. It allows you to anchor your identity within—rather than in others.

You become whole without needing to be “completed.”

And this mindset shifts the perspective of choosing connection: from fullness, not from fear or lack, but from abundance, believing that the universe is sufficient and God provides with the right people and removes the wrong ones. It gives you a sacred time and space to truly explore:

• Your identity

• Your values

• Your morals

• How you think

• What you deserve

• What you are capable of giving

• What you believe—not what you inherited or were told you “should” want
  

Your self-worth stops fluctuating based on fleeting attention, approval, or romantic validation. You stop chasing the next person, achievement, or aesthetic as a source of identity. Instead, it becomes internal—not outsourced. You're no longer afraid to be ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’ as you integrate your shadow, feminine essence, masculine direction, sensuality, depth, and wildness. You stop suppressing parts of yourself just to be palatable or desirable.

You give yourself permission to be fully expressed—raw, nuanced, imperfect, radiant, and simply you being you.

And most of all, you get to define life on your own terms. You embrace your timing, your pace, your desires—without comparison. You craft your life around your essence—not anyone else’s blueprint.

You begin attracting Wholeness. So if the right timing brings a life partner, you enter with clarity and a sense of inner fullness. You’re sharing a life that’s already rich with meaning, growth, self-awareness and security.

The relationship becomes a union of two whole beings—not a rescue mission, nor a remedy for loneliness.

And when this season ends, and singlehood is done, it will never be the same again.

Because it becomes a new journey—into union with a partner, into motherhood—and that’s going to be an entirely different chapter.

So, to my co-single women out there, how are you ladies going through your singlehood?

Vanesa